If you’ve read my blog, “What is coaching”, you’ll already know that coaching is about answering questions. As a coach, I ask you questions that will help you gain new insight into whatever is going on for you. It’s not about me telling you what I think you should do, or what I would do if I was in your position, it’s helping you to sort through your own thoughts and working out what path you want to take.
So surely that means you don’t really need me, do you?
We’ll one of the things that a coach will do is ask you the questions you may not want to ask yourself. Or you may ask yourself the question but settle for whatever excuses you come up with. A coach will notice the excuse and the avoidance and confront you with it, kindly and with only your best interests at heart!
Often it is only by answering these difficult questions that new insight is discovered.
And yet it does mean that you can get results by asking yourself the questions. That might be enough to get clarity and set yourself off on in a new direction. And if you notice that you are avoiding your own questions, challenge yourself to ask yourself why you are doing that.
So where do you start?
I find very often when I coach someone that they are very clear about what they don’t want. They can talk easily and effortlessly about why they hate their job, their health, their relationship, and their life.
When I ask, ‘what do you want instead?’ What’s your dream job?’ ‘What do you want to change about your life?’ These questions are often met with a pause.
Coaches love pauses, it means you are having to go inside, think, and consider your answer.
To help you to do this I have created a list of questions to get you started.
You can download it here.
Take some time for yourself. Make yourself a cup of tea (or whatever you prefer) and get comfy. This time is for you. Read each question and give yourself a couple of minutes and see what comes up. Some of the questions may not be relevant to you and you can skip them. All I ask is that you check that you are skipping it because it really doesn’t apply to you and not that you are avoiding it because it feels uncomfortable.
When you get to the end of the questions notice how different you already feel.
Giving yourself time to coach yourself is giving yourself time to think. Every single thing you say and do starts with a thought, so taking time to think is the most important thing you can do if you want to change anything else.
I really want to help you to get the life you want and to be happy and, if you can do this for yourself, by yourself, that is fantastic.
If you find this process doesn’t work for you, then maybe you need the help of a coach to ask you the specific questions that will work for you.
So give it a try.
And if it ends up doing me out of a job then so be it!!
My goal is to help you find your happy. However you get there, is good for me.
Oh, and the picture is one of my cats, Matilda, just to make you smile!